Timeline for B'nai Mitzvah

The process of becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah affords a family many opportunities to work together, building memories from shared experiences as your student prepares for what may prove to be their most meaningful long term assignment.

With so many required meetings, appointments and assignments it is essential to be organized and model conscientious behavior for your child

• Be responsible; take the initiative to make the required appointments listed here and also on the website and in your Mitzvah Journal.
• Be accountable; once the appointments are made, cancel them only if truly necessary.
• Prioritize; sports, play practice, down time, they are all important, but your child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah only once, show them it is important.

Looking together at a hard copy calendar and marking the month’s countdown style: 12 months out, 11 months out, etc. may help everyone keep up with the required appointments and assignments.

We appreciate that each person has individual learning styles and we recognize the need to be flexible with our students, so the overview below is a chronological map to help you navigate your child’s journey as they become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

4^th grade—Bet

Families will be asked to complete a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date Request Form with 4 different options. Once this is returned to the Am Shalom office, dates and times will be distributed at a family meeting the second Monday evening each May at 7:00pm. The dates for this year are listed below.

March 16, 2012  An initial request letter is sent to each family registered in our Religious School having children born between September 1, 2001 through August 31, 2002 with instructions to complete and return date requests by Friday April 13, 2012.

Monday, May 14, 2012 Assigned dates are distributed to parents at a meeting with our Clergy. Dates will not be given out over the phone, if unable to attend the meeting the letter with your student's assigned date will be mailed the next morning.

 End of 5^th grade--Gimel

Based on the assessment performed in fifth grade—Gimel year of Hebrew School, parents are given the opportunity to ‘step up’ the study of the prayers first introduced beginning in third grade. This can be accomplished simply by practicing these *** prayers at home and with the help of our Hebrew School educators who will offer some individualized lessons during Hebrew school.  Obviously if your child doesn’t attend Hebrew school each week it would be impossible for them to learn the required prayers.  Most essentially: attending services is the ultimate teaching tool.

As a precursor to the individual preparation for becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, in the fifth or sixth grade, depending on your service date,  there will be a required three-week Family Class with Rabbi Lowenstein and Rabbi Sommer for you and your child(ren). During this class, you will learn and discuss various aspects of the B’nai Mitzvah experience including requirements for the process, Mitzvah Projects, and Torah portions. This class is mandatory and an integral part of your family’s preparation for your student’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah. This class is offered the last three weeks of April and the last three weeks of October each year depending on the High Holy Day Schedule.

• Students with services scheduled between February and July are invited to the October class approximately one and a half years before their Bar/Bat Mitzvah service date.
• Students with services scheduled between August and January are invited to the April class approximately eighteen months to two years before their Bar/Bat Mitzvah service date.

6^th grade--Dalet

If by sixth grade---Dalet year, the student is not proficient in these prayers ***and of course in the Hebrew alephbet, some remediation may be needed before beginning their tutoring.

*12-14 months prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah service: Initial meeting with Rabbi Lowenstein

Families will meet with Rabbi Steven Stark Lowenstein to discuss how the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process will work for your family and receive your Torah portion.

 *11 months prior: Meet with Cantor

This is the first visit you'll have with the Cantor and the time when he can help select your tutor. The students will transition  from working weekly with their tutor to work weekly with the Cantor around the final 3 months before their Bar or Bat Mitzvah service.

*10 months prior: Family Torah Study meeting with Rabbi Phyllis Sommer

Between the first meeting and this one, read over your Torah portion in English with the help of the commentaries in your book.  With Rabbi Phyllis, you and your parent(s) will select the verses that you will read at your service.   In addition, you will discuss the Gemilut Chasadim elements of the Bar/Bar Mitzvah process. Take a look at link below to see the Mitzvah Bank for ideas you can use http://www.amshalom.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=299&Itemid=215

6 months prior: OPTIONAL Check In Meeting

This is an Optional Meeting. If you are making progress with your Am Shalom Bnai Mitzvah Program tutor and meeting the requirements for Religious School attendance you need not make this appointment. If this is not the case, a parent is required to attend this meeting.  

*4 or 3 months prior: Rabbi Meeting

You will begin to talk about your Torah portion and discuss some of the choices you’ve made for the Talmud Torah section of the Mitzvah Journal. This meeting will be spent working on page 11 in the Mitzvah Journal and the students will begin to write their D’var Torah (Torah speech) after this meeting Students will also receive some important information about the service itself.

2 months prior: Rabbi Meeting

B'nai Mitzvah students will present a draft of their D’var Torah, discuss the choices you’ve made for the Avodah section of the mitzvah Journal, and begin to prepare your Bar/Bat Mitzvah Prayer. Rabbi will take students into the Sanctuary to practice so you need to schedule Sanctuary Time as well. 

 1 month prior: Rabbi Meeting

A final version of the student’s D’var Torah and a draft of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah Prayer will be presented at this meeting, as well as finishing preparations for the final rehearsal.

*Within the week prior: Final Rehearsal

All prayers, speeches, and Torah/Haftorah readings will be presented in the sanctuary with the Rabbi.  B’nai Mitzvah students should wear the shoes that will be worn for the service.  Only immediate family needs to attend this rehearsal, extended family does not.

3-4 weeks after the Ceremony

Students will be invited to meet with a Rabbi to reflect on the student’s experience, evaluate our program and discuss the next steps of their Jewish journey.

• Each of these appointments can be made online.  However if you aren’t able to find a time that works for your family please call us and we will be happy to work out a time that is convenient for you.
• To stay on track consider scheduling, in advance, all of the required appointments,  even those up to a year away. A reminder email will be sent before each appointment allowing you reschedule online as well. Some appointments may be arranged for the same day.
• Remember to come prepared for each class or appointment; the assignments are posted on the website in the Appointments Section. Currently all tutoring appointments are scheduled directly by calling Cantor or Laura Horn.
• It is strongly encouraged that parents attend as many of these meetings as possible with their students.  The starred meetings (*) have required parent attendance.

***V’ahavta, Avot v’imahot, Gevurot and the Blessing before and after reading Torah